Unexpected Views on the Natural Order of Human Life

Unexpected Views on the Natural Order of Human LifeUnexpected Views on the Natural Order of Human LifeA few months ago, I decided that I wanted to share the non-mainstream information on history that I’ve come across in my years of learning.  Originally, I wanted to focus on some of the “lost” history of women.  I’ve been struggling, however, with this narrow focus.  For one thing, I don’t want to portray myself as an angry feminist.  Secondly, the picture that these ideas are painting for me show a much more balanced beginning of our species.  So, I’m going to start by sharing some Unexpected Views on the Natural Order of Life.

Natural Order

For at least 150 years we have been told that there is a natural order to human life.  This natural order supposedly dictates everything from marriage to societal structure.  We’ve also been taught that it has always been thus.

I want to say, before continuing, that I’ve been happily married for 25 years, and am not looking to change that.  The information that follows is fairly sexual in nature, and does not support the rules of morality that our society has been given.  I do believe that it is important to share this information, if for no other reason than I have known people who have unnecessarily suffered from guilt and shame, under these rules.

Mating for Life

In the push to convince society that marriage for life is the natural order of things, we have been given examples of birds, and other animal species that mate for life.  In their book, The Myth of Monogamy, David Brash and Judith Lipton share a number of scientific studies that show the exact opposite.  DNA testing is showing that females in nearly every animal group studied, expand the gene pool on the sly.  In many cases, they are so sly and quick about it, that the researchers have never actually witnessed it.


The need for a man to know that the children he is expending his energy to “raise” has long been the argument for monogamy and marriage.  Supposedly,as a species, when we became smart enough to understand that sex begets babies, men have needed to know that the children in his family are his.

How many men do you know who raise children who are not their own?  I’ve known several.  Just as I know of many women who have raised children who aren’t their own.  My observations have shown, that at least for a great many of us, loving one another is more important that blood lines.

What if the “Natural Order” of caring for children, at our very basic human core, is to just care for them?

It Takes a Community

In their book, Sex at Dawn, Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha unravel a great many misconceptions about how we are supposed to behave.  For example, when explorers first came across native groups in South America and some parts of Africa, they were met by people who had no idea of paternity, marriage or monogamy.  Instead, they believed the entire “village” was a marriage.  They all shared the responsibilities of raising children and providing for the community as a whole.  In some of these communities is was believed that women are always pregnant.  So, for the best traits for her growing baby, she sleeps with many men in the village.  As, they believe that each man contributes to the growing baby.

Stay at Home Motherhood

One of reasons that we are given for the need of marriage and paternity is the enormous amount of effort that goes into caring for human babies.  I know, first hand, that raising children requires a great deal of effort.  However, we are pretty creative and ingenious.  Some societies figured out how to have it both ways.

The Amazons, warrior women of ancient times, actively participated in hunting and war, as well as motherhood. It is told that the Amazon women would put their babies into cradle boards and hang them safely in a tree, while they went hunting or taking care of other chores.  Additionally, they figured out how to make a weak fermentation of mare’s milk that babies could digest, so they weren’t confined to the restraints of nursing babies.

Our Natural Tendency is Towards War

In both The Myth of Monogamy and Sex at Dawn, the authors suggest that our warring nature is a result of the tension that arises from trying to lay claim to each other.  Ryan and Jetha share the example of the bonobos monkeys.  Bonobos monkeys are anatomically the closest to humans of all primates.  Humans and bonobos monkeys are the only primates that do not visually display when females are ovulating.  Most other primates, including chimpanzees, show visual signs like reddening and swelling of the genitals.  Humans and bonobos monkeys also copulate outside of the ovulation time.

Generally speaking, bonobos monkeys are pretty laid back and easy going.  They share food, even to the point of alerting other nearby monkeys of a good find.  When they meet up with neighboring groups of bonobos, they greet each other with grooming, mating and even kissing.  As such, in good times their groups tend to be quite large.  In lean times they break up into smaller groups.

A New Natural Order of the Future

Our future doesn’t have to be a repeat of the past.  We have the ability to create our future.  Opening our minds to new ways of understanding the basic workings of who we are will open new doors of possibility for us all.  Our belief system does not have to be confined to our school text books and childhood teachings.

If you would like to read more about our history check out Problems With History: Manipulation and Interpretation and A Different Picture of Our Prehistoric Ancestors.

What are your thoughts about the Natural Order of things?  Feel free to comment below:
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3 thoughts on “Unexpected Views on the Natural Order of Human Life

  1. Very interesting research you shared which certainly promotes discussion with other readers. Cave drawings have been found dating back to the ice age which indicate the whole tribe took care of children. These tribes got so big they broke up into smaller ones, then eventually into families. The women nursed each other’s babies while some went hunting. The need to share in child raising ebbed when each family became more self sufficient with progressive discoveries and the need for privacy. Today’s communes operate along a similar way. Even Paleo diets are popular. However, a man’s responsibility to his family is a value for which societies pay when he does not commit to his own natural order of being the provider and leader of the family. We have put such split hairs into the role of men and women, the natural order is all but disappeared. Just an opinion. Good subject Mama!

  2. The naturalness of polyamory eventually won’t be troubling either. It didn’t bother Abraham, Jacob, David, or Solomon. Polygamy didn”t, as long as it was men with multiple wives, not women with multiple husbands. I once asked a Talmudic scholar why all those Old Testament pillars of the faith had been allowed to have multiple wives, and he responded, whatever gives you the idea that the Torah prohibits polygamy? In fact, it simply doesn”t. Its possible that Jews at the time of Jesus had picked up monogamy from the Romans, but plenty of Jewish generations afterward remained polygamous. Those who found themselves in Christian Europe adopted monogamy to try to get along, but those in the middle east and north Africa didn”t. If Joseph was faithful to Mary, its probably because Christians wrote the story. I tend to think monogamy is a good idea, but its not Judeo-Christian, its Romano-Christian.

    • Interesting! Thanks for sharing 🙂

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